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The light glared through the glass,
as little johnny came at last.

There were three knocks at the door,
as he tip toed across the floor.

A faint whisper rang through his ear,
as he lifted the handle with no fear.

The door creaked open with a shriek,
as the cold winter night hit him in the cheek.

He let out a faint squeal,
to see what was concealed.

Behind the door stood none other,
than his own big brother.

He questioned his big brother,
as he came in one foot after the other.

His brother said with a gleam on his face,
“I wanted to be here, rather than no other place.”

He hugged his brother with such full arms,
that even his brother couldn't compare the charms.

When at last ever thing was calm,
little Johnny went to bed next to his big brother Tom.
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Submitted: March 13
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A short poem
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~ShadyTrader:iconShadyTrader: Mar 13, 2008, 11:13:11 AM
Lololol its good...sounds perverted though. The only thing i would see wrong with this is that the syllables per line do not match very well. If they did match then it would flow a lot better.

Good work :D

--
Hows life?
~Above-TheDeath:iconAbove-TheDeath: Mar 13, 2008, 11:41:56 AM
yeah i really have to work on that, i like writing poems. what would you give it out of ten?

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Remeber the number one thing is:
"To have fun"
~ShadyTrader:iconShadyTrader: Mar 14, 2008, 7:53:53 PM
I honestly don't know, just work on the flow more for next time and use more comprehensive words and themes.

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Hows life?
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